Jan 172015
 

ISA 41

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In this episode I announce big news about the Living Mindful Masterclass! I also answer two listener questions that came in over Facebook and email.

Jewell wrote me on Facebook and asked how to deal with situations where you and someone else have different perspectives about the same topic. Then I heard from Lina in Germany who reached out to ask how to overcome the discouraging feelings associated with the ever powerful “rich” not being supportive of the “poor”.

WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE

  • How to become aware of our perspectives and where they come from.
  • What your “starting place” has to do with they way you see things now.
  • One step towards having good boundaries.
  • How to overcome the feeling of discouragement in situations where you have little control.
  • How to get inspired to start making the world changes you are destined for.
  • An interesting place people listen to this show. You might (or may not) be surprised!

The 6-week online Living Mindful Masterclass begins in just one week and enrollment ends on January 23, 2015. With only 4 seats left I highly encourage you to sign up right now.

 

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

 

Dec 302014
 

2015_New_Year

Wow! Can’t believe I’ve finally reached 40 episodes! There have been many weeks that have gone by without an episode since I started this back in September 2013 but I’ve kept on and I’m proud to say I made it to 40! I won’t let the irony pass over me that I also turned 40 years old myself this year.

Happy New Year everyone and thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me. I’m really looking forward to 2015 and I hope you are as well. Together, I think we have a lot to be excited about. Let me tell you a bit about this episode though…

I answer the following listener questions:

Susan Diehl from Laughing Fit with Susan Diehl asks…

“How about something addressing gradual positive change vs. these crazy resolutions everyone is about to make to do all kinds of drastic stuff. Then when it doesn’t happen, they feel defeated and sad.”

Rachael Green asks…

“I want to learn how to be more positive when I have an insight about whatever issue or insident pops up instead of being snarky and sarcastic. Even just learning how to just listen without feeling the need to have something to say for myself all of the time!!”

If you have a question that yo would like answered on the podcast or a topic you’d like to hear more about simply reach out to me on the Facebook page!

In this episode I also give you the one thing you can and should start practicing today to help get you ready for success in 2015. This is something you can start doing right away and while it’s not the sexiest most fun thing to to do, it’s a must for anyone looking for real change in their lives.

Finally, I leave a reminder about the January 2015 Living Mindful Masterclass starting up. There’s a waitlist currently for anyone interested in joining. Furthermore, those on the waitlist will have an opportunity to enroll (limited seating to 12 people) at a substantially discounted rate before the doors open to the public.

For much more information and to join the waitlist visit www.LivingMindfulMasterclass.com!

Thank you so much for all of your support in 2014 and I can’t wait to share 2015 with you!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Josh

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Dec 172014
 

ISA_39

This weeks podcast starts off with me sharing about a brand new online course I’m putting together. Why is this significant?

Well, I’ve never launched an online program like this before and I just know it has the potential to launch your life to the next level.

Why?

Because I combine what I’ve been teaching all along in the areas of Mindfulness, Self-Love, and Self-Awareness. More importantly, I break down those complex principles into bite-sized chunks that you can digest and practice every single day. The 6-week online course will guide you through each module where it will build on top of the next.

You’ll team up with 11 other people (Yes, I’m limiting this course to 12 people) and get individual support from me as well throughout the program. If you want big change in your life but find yourself stuck in the same patterns time and time again then this course is for you.

I’m opening up a waitlist (it’s already filling up) for those interested in finding out more. If you get on the waitlist (no commitment necessary) you’ll not only be one of the first to get a shot of securing a seat in our January class but you’ll get in at a steep discount off the launch price.

All you need to do is enter your name and email at www.LivingMindfulMasterclass.com.

This weeks topic is a powerful one and came to me as I was looking back on the first year of my life without my mom. She passed away in December 2013 and so much has transpired. This powerful lesson was realized as I appreciated what the past year in grief was truly like.

However, you need not have someone close to you pass to garner the benefits of this Life Tool. Listen in to today’s podcast and see how you can apply this tool to your life right now!

Before you tune in, have a quick look at my Facebook post which jumpstarted this entire episode…

One year ago today I was sitting with my mom, my dad, and my sister. I looked into my mom’s eyes as she took her final breath and I told her she could go home. A lot has transpired in this past year. Lots of tears and also lots of joy. There’s a lesson I learned this year and it’s the lesson of trading a “but” for an “and”. It goes something like this…

My mom is no longer living AND she’s alive in my heart.
Sometimes I can’t believe she’s gone AND I know she’s right with me.
I feel deep sadness AND I laugh really hard.
My mother isn’t able to share her stories with me AND I’m still learning from her.
Sometimes life sucks AND it’s always going to be okay.
I get to mourn my mom AND not let depression take over.
I can’t hear her voice AND she’s always talking to me.
My kids will miss out on her amazingness AND they have so many great memories of it.
She’s not in my life anymore AND she will always be a part of it.

So many And’s in my life now. So many ways to appreciate the wholeness of the entire experience. I know it will continue to unravel and unfold and I will bare witness to it all.

One day I will join her AND I have an amazing life to live until I do.

Dec 072014
 

ISA 38

When it comes to attention people typically fall into two camps:

The Deserving and Unhealthy:

These are people that think they are deserving of attention (hint: if you’re alive you are deserving of attention) but they were never really taught the healthy way of getting it. BTW, I totally fall into this camp and have struggled in this department most of my life.

These people don’t think they should be left out of a conversation or ignored. On the contrary, they often times wind up using passive aggressive measures to seek the attention they lack. This is where we get into the obsessive selfie composers. No, this doesn’t mean if you take selfie’s you have attention seeking issues. This varies from person to person but I will say this. It’s the exception-not the rule- that if someone compulsively posts selfies of themselves that they have zero issues around seeking and receiving healthy attention.

Of course this is just one example. I’ve even caught myself consuming a conversation without realizing it only to find out later I was lacking attention and when I finally received some I wanted to fill up as if I had an empty tank!

The Undeserving and Unhealthy:

These are people that don’t think they deserve any dosage of attention. They typically focus on everyone else and to the determinant of themselves. Unfortunately, these people that don’t think they need or deserve any attention normally feel left out, unwanted, unlovable and alone.

They are literally abandoning themselves by not allowing any attention (certainly not healthy attention) to come into their lives. It’s a vicious cycle and ultimately they can wind up losing out on the very relationships they seek the most.

And of course, there are people that have little issue as it relates to giving and receiving attention but they are few and far between. If that’s you then I still think you’re going to benefit from listening to this weeks podcast. Why? Because, I think you’re going to hear a different take than what you’re used to hearing. I also think it would be good to understand what most of your friends are facing as it relates to getting a healthy dose of attention.

If you haven’t read my FREE ebook, “The 5 Day Self Love Challenge” then I highly recommend you do. Just below this post you’ll see a place to enter your name and email. I’ll send you a free copy of the ebook that includes some great exercises for you to try at home.

Why do I mention my ebook and Self Love? Because giving and receiving attention is one major way that we also give an receive love. If we’re not ensuring we are receiving healthy levels of attention then we are sabotaging a fundamental need we all have – to be loved.

So what’s the key to this whole attention thing? Well, you’ll need to listen to the podcast to get all the details but let me give you this one clue…getting healthy attention has more to do with giving it to ourselves than it does receiving it from others.

The good news is that there are tangible things you can do to change this aspect of your life. In doing so you will definitely be on the path to take your life and your relationships to the next level.

Two other quick reasons to listen to this weeks podcast (you can also listen + subscribe on iTunes).

1. Be the first to hear about something very special coming in January 2015 and how it could change your life.
2. I leave a fun tip at the end of the show for how to deal with those times you just feel bugged and want to snap out of it!

With Gratitude + Appreciation – Oh, and BIG HUGS!

Josh_Sig

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

 

Oct 272014
 

ISA_37

There are always going to be people in your life that are going to get on your nerves. Sometimes those people will be the closest to you and other times you won’t even know who they are. In either case, that feeling of annoyance is something we all try and avoid. Yet all too often we get caught up in the situation and ultimately it becomes exacerbated. Of course the easy thing to do is to avoid those people all together. Yet sometimes that’s just not an option.

There are times our partners irritate us, our family gets on our nerves or our best friends get on our nerves. We’re not just going to leave these people because they get on our nerves from time to time. The truth is we likely get on their nerves just as often. Of course, there are people whom we can choose to avoid all together and who are merely acquaintances at best or even strangers.

Whatever the case may be it doesn’t mean we have to let these people get on our nerves. Especially those people who are a more permanent fixture in our life. So what do we do?

In this episode of the I Simply Am Podcast I share with you 4 tricks I personally use to avoid getting caught up in the criticism and judgement of others. In the past, I would allow myself to get pissed-off and upset by those that pushed my buttons but now I have a choice. Listen to the podcast where I share with you in detail how to you can apply this real life tools to your life starting today!

  • Boundaries (I explain how this is different than putting up a wall)
  • A two-word response that works every time.
  • Why what others say about you has more to do with them.
  • How to deal with those feelings before they get stuck in your body

Would love to hear your thoughts and any tips you have when faced with others who criticize or judge you. Leave a comment below!

Big Hugs,

Josh_Sig

 

 

 

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Sep 182014
 


Happy Anniversary I Simply Am Listeners! Just before releasing this latest episode I realized it’s been one whole year! We’ve all been through a lot in the last year and I’m so grateful you have allowed me to share my life and my messages with you! The show has been downloaded more than 80,000 times in 99 countries across the world.

I am so appreciative for each and every one of you! In this weeks episode I share with you what a “come clean” is and then dive into 2 listener questions.

Andre wrote me from Twitter and asked:

I want to meet new people and just be happy with who I am. I want to learn how to accept myself. Can you help?

Tracy wrote in from Facebook and asked:

What do I do about my trust issues? I’ve been in a long-term relationship and don’t trust my partner. I think this mistrust is coming from my past relationships and I’m making my current partner pay. What do I do?

Listen in to see how I responded to both Andre and Tracy. Feel free to leave a comment and let me know how you would have responded.

Big Hugs!

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Sep 082014
 

The easy answer to the question, “Why haven’t you written or podcast for the last 2 months?” would be it was summer break. Of course that sounds great but that wasn’t exactly why.

In this come back podcast I share the honest and personal truth about where I’ve been and what all those big changes really meant. You’ll hear about all this and more in this weeks episode.

  • What changes have occurred in my life
  • Why I stopped writing and podcasting
  • How big change affects our lives
  • How you can be sure to stay on track even when big change happens to you
  • What change really says and doesn’t say about you

Next week we’ll be back on track with our weekly episodes. If you’d like any question or concern answered on the podcast email me at Josh at I simply dot am or leave a comment on this post.

Big Hugs!

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Jun 092014
 

Stigma_Fighters

Make sure to listen to this weeks podcast and subscribe on iTunes to get automatic and free updates right to your smartphone!

We all know what it’s like to be around people who really matter to us and we also know what it’s like to be by ourselves. Unfortunately, it’s all too often when things aren’t going well in our lives that our first instinct is to retreat and isolate.

Of course the problem with isolating without the support of others is that we do it when we need support the most. To make matters even worse, in addition to the uncomfortable feelings we feel (the ones that sent us into isolation) we then have shame on the back end. In other words, we often times feel guilty (it’s actually shame) or ashamed for having those feelings in the first place. That shame sets up what we call a shame-bind. The bind is that we feel “bad” and then feel shame and the shame keeps us feeling bad and the feeling bad keeps us feeling shame. A crazy cycle, I know!

Well my friend Sarah Fader is doing everything she can to help contradict this vicious cycle. Specifically, she’s helping those that are challenged by mental health disorders. It’s hard enough when we’re experiencing big feelings and we go and isolate but what about those that suffer from even more severe and often repetitive disorders?

There’s a stigma with having a mental health disorder and it strengthens the barrier between isolation and community. It also strengthens that shame-bind I talked about. It’s a whopping combination of isolation and shame and it leaves no relief for those that need it the most.

This is why Sarah, who also suffers from Panic Attacks, has created a Not-for-profit Organization called Stigma Fighters. Sarah’s mission is to give those that suffer from mental illness a voice and a place to call home. Sarah’s planning to travel to Colleges and Universities around the Country to create Stigma Fighter Chapters. It’s an amazing cause and one that I certainly stand behind. It’s exactly why I wanted you all to hear about it.

You may not suffer from mental illness yourself but you likely know someone who does. You certainly know what that isolation and shame feels like and here’s an opportunity for us to all do something about it. Sarah is running a fundraising campaign to help support this incredible cause. There’s not a whole lot of time left for this fundraising effort so now is the time to help.

If you’d like to donate to Sarah’s cause visit her FundDreamer site by clicking here!

To find out more about Sarah and Stigma Fighters you can visit her site by clicking here!

 

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

May 212014
 

ISA33_Self_Forgiveness

Over the last week or two I heard from several people asking me to talk about Self Forgiveness. While I have done a few episodes of the podcast on forgiveness they were primarily focused on forgiving others.

Yet, forgiving ourselves is quite possibly the best gift we could give ourselves. It’s my hope that by the end of this podcast that you’ll have an even deeper understanding of the following:

  • How harmful it is to not forgive yourself
  • How self hatred plays into it
  • The 7-step process for forgiving yourself

We all make mistakes every day. Some of them are pretty minor and others aren’t but one thing for certain is that we can be really cruel to ourselves. Often times we’re much harder on ourselves than the people we’ve wronged. So why is this?

Shame is a sticky and toxic thing and we carry it around deep in our psyche. From a young age, likely around 5 – 7, we started getting messages that we weren’t enough. Whether it was that we weren’t beautiful enough, smart enough, good enough, or fill in your favorite “not enough”.

These messages started coming in so often that we took them in as our own. Fast forward 20, 30, 40 years and those same messages are still there! When we make a mistake shame takes the opportunity to stick to any guilt we feel! As soon as we make a mistake those same old messages of not being enough creep right back in and shame is there to finish us off!

Once this happens the mistake we made goes from something we did wrong to the horrible person we are. But aren’t we allowed to make mistakes? Shouldn’t we be a little less harsh with ourselves? Isn’t it harmful to carry around all this shame with us? YES! YES! and YES!

Listen to today’s podcast where I share a mistake I made when I laughed at my son!

So what should happen when we make a mistake?

Well, if we’re not going to allow shame to take over us, stay in the present, and be mindful about our life the following would likely happen.

1. Make a mistake

2. Acknowledge that we made a mistake

3. Feel guilt

4. Look for ways to make amends

5. Allow guilt to drift away as we continue to love ourselves

Sounds great, huh? Yeah, doesn’t usually work that way right?

Usually it looks something like this…

1. Make a mistake

2. Acknowledge we made a mistake

3. Feel guilt

4. Look for ways to make amends

5. Berate and self-shame ourselves by saying how horrible we are and what failures we are

6. Guilt turns into shame

7. Isolate and go into hyper-sensitivity mode in the future as to try and avoid those situations reminding ourselves we suck

8. Likely attract more situations in our life that remind us how not enough we are and the cycle continues

It actually looks a little worse than this but I was going easy on you! LOL As you can see, it’s a viscous cycle that doesn’t have a pretty ending. This is why shame = self hatred.

We love ourselves by giving ourselves what David Richo calls, “The Five A’s” (Attention, Acceptance, Allowance, Appreciation, and Affection). How much loving attention are you giving yourself when you focus on your lack and how horrible you are? How are you accepting yourself by telling yourself you are a horrible person? How are you allowing for your fallible nature when you call yourself a screw up? How are you appreciating yourself when you call yourself an idiot? How are you giving yourself affection when you emotionally abuse yourself?

As you can see, when we make mistakes and don’t forgive ourselves, it’s called Self Hatred. It sounds harsh but it’s the antithesis of loving ourselves! Seems pretty clear to me and I’m guessing you’d agree that self hatred isn’t exactly what’s going to take your life or my life to the next level, right?

So I think we all agree we need to forgive ourselves but how??

I go into these 7 steps in much more detail in the podcast and it’s only 36 minutes long (you can listen to it while you’re driving, doing the dishes, jogging, or laying in bed)! Listen here on iTunes! But let me give you a quick run down of those 7 steps right now.

1. Accept that I am fallible. It’s your right as a human to make mistakes! To deny your fallibility is to deny your wholeness.  Stop abandoning yourself and rejecting yourself when you make mistakes! You have a right to make mistakes! This is a very important step.

2. Choose to live in the present. Guilt is a present time feeling. Shame is a feeling that was born in the past. When we make mistakes it’s okay to feel guilty. Feel the guilt and then let that guilt turn into compassion (our next step). When that guilt turns to shame (i.e.; I’m not enough) is when we have serious problems.

3. Be compassionate towards ourselves. We talk about compassion for others but what about ourselves? Decide you’re not going to beat yourself up anymore. Let that guilt turn into compassion for yourself. Acknowledging you made a mistake and that you’re experiencing pain as well. Gently carry yourself to make amends and restore what is right but do it with self compassion.

4. Understand how shame works. We’re taught that we’re not enough from a young age. Shame is sticky and finds anything to attach to. Make a mistake? Shame sticks to it reminding you that you’re a screw up, not good enough, and need to pay for that. Remind yourself that shame is always present in our lives but that you have a choice to let it in. The moment you see yourself talking about not being enough shut it down! Acknowledge this is crap from the past that just isn’t true.

5. Be aware of the difference between guilt and shame. It’s okay to feel that present-time feeling of guilt. It means that you care and that you acknowledge you hurt someone. Stay in the present though and notice if you go back to the past – back to that place of shame. Know the difference so you can stay present!

6. It’s a practice Yes, you will screw up forgiving yourself! :) That’s okay, just forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself! :) This is a practice and will take time. Know that you’re not going to get this right the first time. Keep at it and practice!

7. Get Support Find a close friend or relative who will listen. Shame loves isolation so get it out and just share what’s happening with you.

I hope you find these 7-steps helpful as you move throughout your day and your week. You can use this process with a simple and benign mistake or one that’s pretty serious. Either way, your ability to show up in full and live the life you want is going to be directly impacted by how mindful and self-loving you are.

So, I want to hear from you! Let me know what recent mistake you made and how you’re going to implement this process or another one that works for you!

 

May 152014
 

ISA32_Peace

Not everyone can be perfect like us, riiiiiight??

All kidding aside, we have people in our lives that just get under our skin for one reason or another. It might be the way they talk to us, what their views on life are, or that they are judgmental or only think about themselves.

Whatever the reason, it’s an awful feeling inside to have to be around them. Sometimes we can help being around them and other times we cannot. We might try and change them but it seems like we’re just beating our heads against a wall.

At the end of the day and no matter what we do it just seems like we can’t escape the frustration, anger, and annoyance of being around them. Clearly there’s got to be a better way around this and fortunately there is! In today’s podcast I’m going to show you 4 ways (I’ll share the 4th way in the podcast!) to be at peace with anyone (especially those that bug us)!

Listen right now to the podcast and make sure you subscribe so new episodes will come to you automatically!

1. Spend Less Time With Them

This might seem like an obvious thing to do but often times we wind up being with them out of guilt or because we think we “have to be with them”. I find myself in this situation from time to time with certain family members. On the one hand I prefer to not be with them (for whatever reason) but there’s that obligation (or at least perceived obligation).

However, we have a bigger obligation and that’s an obligation to ourselves. Saying No to being around someone that doesn’t treat us well is saying Yes to ourselves. Instead of looking at it as rejecting that person, look at it as accepting yourself! You don’t even have to make up any stories about not seeing them. Simply tell them, “today isn’t going to work out for me.”.

Spending less time with them will give you the breathing room you need. Sometimes there is no getting away from certain people but the next time you do it simply out of obligation ask yourself who’s obligation you’re meeting.

2. Find The Peace You Seek In Yourself

One recent morning I came to realize the following:

The peace we seek in trying to change another is actually found in letting them be. [Tweet This!]

I realized that all of my attention was focused on changing someone that annoyed the heck out of me! My feelings would get the best of me and I would act passive aggressive, sarcastic, and could feel the tension in my body when I was around them.

In all my efforts to try and get this person to change their ways and see things my way I would be the one left feeling deflated, defeated, and plain old tired! It was exhausting yet I still wanted to be with this person I loved.

Then it occurred to me – I didn’t need to make them change. I could generate the peace I was looking for all on my own. I simply needed to let that person be who they were. Does that mean I have to let them be rude to me? No. Does that mean I need to agree with everything they say? No. What it does mean is that I get to be separate from who they are. I get to let them have their own reality with all of their own thoughts and feelings and still just be with them.

Just like what they say, think or do has no reflection on who they are – what they say, think or do has no reflection on who I am. Once I found this ability to detach in this way I was able to be with them. It brought me great peace. Does that mean I’m going to go out of my way to be with them? No, but it means that when I do decide to be with them I can do so in peace.

3. Find Compassion in The Absence of Judgement

It’s easy to judge another person. In fact, it’s so easy that we don’t even realize when we’re doing it the vast majority of the time. There are many things we can take as issue with judging another but probably the most important is that we actually wind up abandoning ourselves.

How’s that? Well, at the core of our nature is compassion. We can’t have compassion when we judge another so we’re literally shutting part of ourselves down to do this. Not only is expressing compassion in our nature but it allows us to see the goodness in others, even when they can’t. It allows us to serve them in a time when they are likely suffering greatly. It also allows us to have a gentle, tender, and loving place for ourselves in the whole process.

Judging another does nothing to help support that person, it doesn’t allow us to see who they truly are, and it leaves us feeling uncomfortable and in unrest.

Listen to the podcast now to hear a 4th tip you can use to help be at peace with anyone!

This isn’t an easy process and it does take practice but isn’t that the cool part about life, that we can practice? Life isn’t about getting it right all the time. However, if we have the right tools to be mindful about what’s happening inside of ourselves than we can choose the best way to respond.

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

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