Jan 302013
 

1_30_2013_Notepad

I want you to imagine something for a few moments. Picture yourself holding a small infant in your arms. The baby could be 8 weeks old and is snuggling in your arms and asleep. Notice yourself rocking softly side to side so as to not stir the baby. Can you smell that sweet baby scent and feel his or her warm body against yours?

As you look at this baby what qualities come to mind? For many of us we’d have a hard time not appreciating that this baby is beautiful, precious, whole, valuable, worthy, lovable, strong, vulnerable, creative, loving, and tender. If we really put our thinking caps on we might even argue that the baby is intelligent, visionary, magnificent, honest, and powerful too.

Keeping in mind all of the qualities we just observed about this baby I want you to now replace that baby’s head with yours. That’s right, the baby your holding is now you. Can you see all those same qualities we just observed in the baby version of you?

No???

Well then you must have simply forgotten. The truth is we are all born with Inherent Qualities. Yet if we’re born with these qualities it must stand to reason that they are who we are. In other words, they are things that just can’t be taken away. If you’re a religious person it might be helpful to acknowledge that if God created us than he must also be in us. You could use the same reasoning and easily see that by definition part of our creation is of our creator. Therefore, those divine qualities in us can’t just be taken away because we don’t think they’re there.

So why then do we buy in to feeling ugly, stupid, not good enough, not lovable, not valuable/worthy, not precious, not intelligent, and so on?

How do we go from being this little baby full of Inherent Qualities to the adults we are today who can’t see any of them? Well, we’ve been lied to over the years. Through shame, physical abuse, sexual abuse, spiritual and emotional abuse, and cultural norms we’ve been conditioned to live a life led by False Beliefs.

When we learn from a young age (somewhere between 6 and 10) that we’re not lovable anymore or not smart or not beautiful that sticks with us. We heard it so many times from our elders and perhaps even our peers that we came to believe it was true. In fact, in order to protect ourselves we would even announce our False Beliefs before anyone else could get a chance.

How many times have you made a mistake and said out loud, “I’m such an idiot!”? How about a time when you looked in the mirror and proclaimed, “I’m so ugly”.? Maybe you’ve had a dream of doing a job or activity only to be held back by your thought that you weren’t good enough?

These are common thoughts and they’re what we call False Beliefs. They’re things that we believe about ourselves, thanks to influential people in our early childhood, and their false. Their false because we know what we were like when we were born and it’s certainly not this!

So, if we can begin to see that just maybe we are precious. Maybe we are intelligent and beautiful. Perhaps we are visionary, creative, thoughtful, and powerful. Wouldn’t this make a difference in your life? Can you imagine for a moment what your life was like if this is how you saw the world?

I’m going to invite you to close your eyes for a moment (okay, do it after you read the instructions silly!). Take a mental inventory of your life right now. Are you in the relationships you want to be in? Are you living a life with meaning and purpose? Are you giving of yourself? Are you making all your dreams come true? Do you feel your the BEST expression of yourself?

Now what would life look like if you had all the relationships you wanted? What would it look like if you were in your dream job? What about giving to others both in time and money? Can you see a life filled with happiness, joy, creativity, passion, and fulfillment?

Now open your eyes.

In the first scenario which is likely where many of us are today we’re wearing our Glasses of False Belief. We’re judging ourselves and others, we’re gossiping, we’re comparing, we’re criticizing, we’re trying to control others, we’re perfectionists, we’re confused or lost about what our meaning in life is, we’re depressed, and the list goes on. These are all symptoms of wearing our Glasses of False Belief.

In the second scenario we can see we’ve now traded our old glasses in for the Glasses of Inherent Nature. We now accept others as they are, we forgive everyone including ourselves, we have compassion and empathy, we listen with a real desire to learn, we know we’re perfectly imperfect and so are others, we are committed, confident, and passionate about the meaning and purpose in our life. We feel fulfilled, self-aware, loving, and extremely compassionate for all others.

We’re not going to be able to tackle how to permanently remove our Glasses of False Belief in place of our Glasses of Inherent Nature in this post. However, the first step is just being aware of which glasses we do have on.

So I ask you. Which glasses do you primarily wear? Can you tell when you wake up in the morning? What do you think is stopping you from permanently keeping on your glasses of inherent nature?

I would love to hear your comments below!

With Gratitude and Appreciation,

Josh_Sig

 

 

 

Jan 282013
 

1_28_12_facebook

I’ve been using Facebook for nearly 6 years and can’t even tell you how many status updates I’ve posted. I’m sure there’s an app that would tell me that but to be honest I don’t think I even want to know. I have a personal page on Facebook and I recently created a page to support this blog.

Please do join me on our Facebook Page!

I’ve really grown to enjoy Facebook even with all its quirky changes and updates they’ve made over the years. I love the interaction I have with the people I meet and it’s a wonderful way to touch others and to share. Of course with iPad and iPhone apps I’m never away from being able to access the most popular Social Networking site. In fact, most days I find myself checking it hourly, if not close to that. I may be posting something myself or commenting on something someone else posted.

I love the interaction and it can be almost addicting. Which kind of leads me to the intention of this post.

This weekend I sat down and actually mapped out my Action Plan for 2013. I had written down my high level goals for the New Year in December but I hadn’t actually mapped out a plan in detail. I’ll share with you the tools I’m using in another post as I want you all to have access to that as well. However, for now I want to focus on what Facebook is and what it’s not.

Last night, as in most nights, I found myself logging in to Facebook. I stopped and asked myself what I was doing. I knew that if I was going to sit on Facebook that would mean I wasn’t going to get my weekly plan in place. I immediately got off the site and went to work. An hour later I was so happy to have written out my whole plan for the week. I visited my thoughts and feelings about last week, wrote down 7 key goals I want to accomplish this week, and even put them in my Calendar!

I was so stoked that when I was done I went to Facebook to post how happy I was that I wasn’t on there! Talk about irony!

I’m one of those people that has all these hopes and dreams about what my future is going to look like. I have no shortage of ideas and in fact you could argue I have too many! The problem isn’t having ideas or even having too many. The problem is when we don’t do anything with them.

I think Facebook is a wonderful site and has many benefits and value. I think it’s critical for business and can be an invaluable resource for personal engagement. I also think there’s a point of diminishing return. I can’t help but to think I spend way too much time on there. In fact, I know I do. All those hours every week spent surfing, commenting, liking, and posting on Facebook could be spent doing the things necessary to make all these ideas come true.

This all leads me to another point about excessive time spent on Facebook. Like anything that occupies too much of our time it can easily turn into a coping mechanism. How many times have you logged in to Facebook when you were mad? How many times have you signed in when you were bored? How about when you were sad? Facebook like eating, drinking, and smoking can be a way in which we avoid feeling our feelings. We turn to Facebook for comfort just like we do food, drugs, sex, and smoking.

You might have a dream about starting a Non-Profit, becoming a Professional in a certain field, writing a book, learning a new instrument or language, traveling the world, or making good money but do you ever have dreams of having 10,000 friends on Facebook? Do you ever dream of posting 20 updates a day to that site?

Of course not!

So, then why would you spend waste time on something that is potentially numbing you from your own reality and literally preventing you from living your dreams? I need to ask myself this same question.

So, let’s make a new commitment together. This isn’t about banning Facebook or even suggesting we shouldn’t be using it. This is about living Authentically, as I promote on this site, and about aligning ourselves to our intentions. We can make the following commitment together:

I __________________, commit to asking myself the following two questions the next time I log in to Facebook:

1. How do I feel? Think about the actual feelings you’re experiencing at the time (i.e.; sad, bored, angry, frustrated, happy, etc.).

2. Is spending time on Facebook preventing me from doing something actionable towards making my dreams come true?

All we need to do is be honest with ourselves. If we’re feeling bored or lonely when we log in to Facebook, that’s fine. The very fact that we’re aware of our feelings is a huge step in the right direction. Asking ourselves if Facebook time is preventing us from doing the things we need to do at least allows us to acknowledge the decision we’re making.

It’s not about how much time you should or should not spend on Facebook. That is a personal decision that each person has to answer and everyone will have a different answer. I am not judging you and I don’t expect you’re judging me. The take away from this post is to bring awareness to the choices we’re making every day. In this particular post the choice just happens to be around the time we spend on Facebook.

Many of us thought about what we wanted our 2013 to look like. Perhaps you even formally recognized Resolutions. It’s now one month in to the New Year and we should all be asking ourselves, “How are we doing?”. We’re only one month down in the year but it’s only one month. Living starts and ends right now! It doesn’t matter that we wasted hours spent on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, whatever! It doesn’t matter. That was the past and the only life we have is RIGHT NOW.

So consider how you’re going to spend the RIGHT NOW. Go to Facebook, tell your friends you’re happy it’s Monday. Be aware that you’ve spent enough time on there and spend the rest of the time on you. That’s what I’m planning to do and I’m confident those big dreams and ideas I had for 2013 will manifest into something more than just things that exist in my head.

Posting a status update with what you want to create is great. Posting a status update what you created is nothing short of a miracle!

With Gratitude and Appreciation,

Josh_Sig

 

 

Photo Credit

 

Jan 222013
 

01_22_13_Believe

So much of my own life has been spent in pursuit of finding an answer. Oh, I had many questions…

What steps do I need to take to start a business?

What’s the secret to finding the right Agent to become an Actor or Model?

What do I need to do to find happiness?

Which diet/workout plan will work for me to lose that weight?

Life in many ways, and I believe for many of us, is lived analogous to riding on a roller coaster. There are nice long periods of feeling “fine” and maybe even happy followed by a steep drop down and then a long slump in some sort of depression or “funk”. You know when you’re about to head down into that funky time because you start to feel tired, numb, confused, helpless, alone, and overwhelmed. Those feelings can be brought on by so many things.

The problem is that we know how the roller coaster works. We know that when we find that thing out there that will tell us what to do we’ll be back on the fun part of the ride. We think…

If I could only start that business…

If I could only be an Actor…

If I only weighed 20lbs less…

If I only…

The search continues and we go out into the world asking our questions and looking for our answers. We talk to people, read books, attend seminars, and consume products. What’s interesting is that we almost always find the answers we’re looking for don’t we?

We know how to start a business. There are MILLIONS of books on how to start a business. It’s not a secret!

We know how to lose weight! There are MILLIONS of books on how to lose weight. It’s not a secret!

So, why don’t we wind up actually doing what we’re in search of? We do what we need to do to answer our questions. We’re great “Researchers” aren’t we? and then when it comes time to execute, we bail.

It’s clear to me that we convince ourselves what’s preventing us from living our dreams are unknown answers to questions. We come up with all these questions that we first have to answer before we can start! We get excited that we’re starting our journey only to let it fizzle once we’ve realized we answered our questions.

So why do we jump on to this predictable and never-ending roller coaster ride? How do we get off this ride and onto one that will actually take us places?

When you’re done reading this go into the bathroom. Close the door behind you and look in the mirror. Ask yourself this one question…

“Do I believe in you?”

This is a hard pill to swallow. First of all, many of you probably don’t talk to yourselves in the mirror very often. It might feel uncomfortable even looking in your own eyes. If it is, ask the question again.

“Do I believe in you?”

I’m going to bet that underneath the words you use to answer that question is the following thought, “I want to believe in me but I can’t”.

Of course, you want to believe in yourself. You know deep down inside that you can and should believe in yourself. The problem is, that little affirming voice way down there has been covered up with years and years and years of false beliefs and lies. It’s been covered up by all that convincing that you’re not good enough, you’re not smart, you’re not lovable, and many other false beliefs.

You know you were born good enough, beautiful, intelligent, creative, lovable, worthy, and whole. So what happened? Who made you lie to yourself? Was it your parents or caregivers? Was it a teacher or a friend? Who did that to you? Today you’re going to decide that this isn’t working out for you!

Today, you’re going to decide that you’re going to act on the truth and not based on these lies you’ve been telling yourself. You do believe in yourself and your actions are going to mirror that belief. You know that believing in yourself is literally the only obstacle getting in the way of living your dreams. Remind yourself every morning, in that mirror, that you believe in yourself.

You might be 25 years old, 40 years old, 50, 60, or even 70 years old reading this. It doesn’t matter! Those lies are literally a thing of your past. Your past is just an imprint in your imagination. It’s not your today and if it’s not your today then it’s not your life. Your life is today, it’s right now! It’s never too late. You can’t be late for now – Now is now!

Think about your dreams and goals. There’s only one question you need to answer. One question that is preventing you from being the best expression of YOU!

Do you BELIEVE in yourself?

With Gratitude and Appreciation,

Josh_Sig

 

 

 

Jan 142013
 

 01_14_13_Football

I’m one of those people that really likes to find out all there is about something before I get into it. I’ll search the web, read magazines, and talk to people to understand as much as I can. This is especially true about hobbies but also holds true when I’m on a mission to make a life change.

In fact, it holds true at this very moment. My intention this year is to do what I love for a living. That means I want to serve others in supporting them to uncover their own false beliefs, become aware of their inherent nature, and live a life full of intention and authenticity.

Of course, there are many different ways in which someone could go about doing what I’m talking about. In addition, in order to do this such that I can still pay my mortgage, pre-school, and other costs of living I have to find out a way to actually get paid. So what do I do? I wind up searching the web, magazines, and talking to people. That’s not a problem in and of itself.

Deciding you’re going to play football or baseball is great. It’s also really important to have plenty of time on the “sidelines” studying plays, practicing, and getting warmed up. What neither of us want is to get stuck on the sidelines and never actually getting in the game.

It’s easy for myself and I know for many of you to get stuck doing the practicing, the studying, and the researching only to realize you’ve been doing that far too long. What’s stopping us from jumping in and actually DOING what we’re preparing for? Yes, the answer is likely fear as it is for most of our hesitation in life.

The following 5 things should help both of us get off our own sidelines and start playing our game of life!

1. Feed the soul not the Ego! We have to make sure we’re living a life based on Authentic Intention and not one led by the Ego. This is much easier said than done and it can and mostly will be a daily struggle. However, consider your intention for what you’re wanting to do. Is your intention for “getting in the game” one that will make you feel better? Is it one that you’re doing to feel accepted and to get the attention you feel you deserve and need? Are you looking for power? Control? Do you want to impress others? You have to be real honest here or your answer can skew your process.

Make sure your intention for “getting in the game” is one based on serving others. Make sure that it will be something that allows you to express your creativity, compassion, intelligence, connectedness, and strength. These are all inherent qualities you were born with. When we align to our inherent qualities the Universe opens up to give us everything we could possibly want and need.

2. Make a list of the goals you need to accomplish to get in the game! I’m not  as goal focused as some as I’m more concerned about intention. Yet, we all know before you can make a touchdown you’re probably going to have to make many first downs! Break the larger goals down into more manageable ones that you can accomplish on a monthly or weekly basis. The important thing is to ensure that you can see the progress. You don’t want to set a goal that won’t allow you to see weekly or even daily results. We need to be able to see that we’re running in the right direction or we’ll be likely to give up.

3. Surrender to the outcome! That’s right, once you’ve set your goals we’re now going to forget about them! Well, that’s not totally true. The point is we want to focus on our Authentic Intention. We have a list of goals and we know with relative certainty that if we achieve these goals we’ll get where want to be. The truth is, we have know idea what the Universe has in store for us. Often times we can’t dream as big as the Universe can for us. In other words, be open to the course changing on you along the way. If you’re aligning yourself to your Authentic Self you’ll never steer wrong. You may just be opening up that playing field of life and allow yourself more opportunities than you otherwise would have known about. Be creative, intelligent, creative, passionate, thoughtful, and strong. Your inherent nature will guide you and that is what you want navigating you at the core.

4. Surround yourself with others that will support you in your mission. If you’re around people full of their own self doubt and pessimism then how are you going to be able to achieve such a big mission? We can’t do this alone nor should we be expected to! We need people to support us and provide us with the emotional and intellectual guidance we need! Just as in football we all need to count on others for support. We can’t do this alone and that is the first mistake we often make. Finding support doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re connected, strong, communicative, trustworthy, and vulnerable. Those are all inherent qualities you possess and aligning to them means you’re on the right track. It’s very hard if not impossible to fully express the Authentic You when others are excluded from the picture. Find others that can see the real you and that will support the real you, fear aside!

5. The one thing that is going to stop us is our own fear. After all, the reason we’ve been sitting on the sidelines of our own life so long is because of fear. It’s a big, ugly, and mean Monster. The good news is that’s actually just our own perception. We create fear so there’s no way that what we create can be bigger than us! At some point you’re going to need to get to the bottom of that fear but you can’t do that until you know you are not your fear. Yes, you “FEEL” fear which means that you are NOT fear. It’s simply a feeling we experience and does not define who you are. Visualize fear as being this small ball, perhaps even the size of a football. See how it’s contained in it’s leather encasing? That’s right…it’s not this infinite power it once used to be. It’s something you can pick up and carry around. The next time fear pops us and you mistaken it for something you’re made of or for something so big you can’t even see where it begins and/or ends remind yourself of the truth. The truth that fear is real and needs to be dealt with but that it’s something you’re carrying around. Just like a football, you may need to keep it with you to get to that touchdown but it’s small and you’re carrying it – not the other way around.

I hope these 5-steps give you some encouragement to get back in the game of your life! I know I need to follow these steps and keep revisiting them often. It’s exciting watching others run down the field scoring goals. I love cheering for them and it’s fun to be part of that celebration. However, it’s time that I get to play too and start scoring some goals!

We all deserve to live as full expressions of ourselves. We know longer have to be held back by our own fears and doubts. Do you get held back on the sidelines? What do you think keeps you from living the fullest expression of your life?

As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!

With Gratitude and Appreciation,

Josh_Sig

 

 

 

Jan 112013
 

011113_Human_Doing

I think this is a valuable and reasonable question to ask.

Are you a human being or a human doing?

It’s hard not to look around you on any given day and find person after person rushing to get wherever their going. How many “To-Do” lists do you have? Perhaps you even have a “Honey-Do” list? One of the first questions we ask ourselves when we awake is, “Let’s see, what do I have to do today?”

We’re consumed with doing things. Even when we’re not doing anything we’re still doing something. When’s the last time you bragged about your mult-tasking skills? It’s not even enough that you’re doing something but now we’re going to put metrics on the quantity of things we do at once and call it multi-tasking.

I remember not too long ago touting that I didn’t just want to be a “uni-tasker”. I wanted to be efficient and get a lot of stuff done at once! Look at how much I can do!

The other day I took a walk outside while I was at work. I decided to make it a little more meditative of a walk so I cleared my mind (the best I could) and really took in the world around me. I really saw the trees, the flowers, the sky and all of the natural beauty around me. I noticed colors, textures, smells, and all sorts of new sensual experiences that I hadn’t noticed before. I had walked in this same spot before not noticing any of the things I was now. After a few minutes I really felt peaceful and connected.

Feeling connected is so important for us as humans. In the doing of life we’re not connected. Even when we’re with others we’re not connected. We’re busy looking at our phones, watching TV, thinking about the next thing we’re going to do. Even when we’re not physically doing something in another’s presence we’re still doing….we’re thinking. How many times have you “listened” to someone share a story only to have your own conversation in your head?

When I think back to my walk I recall how at one I felt with the nature around me. I could even sense that (unlike most people I talk with) the trees, flowers, and even the sun we’re all giving me their full attention. They weren’t doing other things in my presence. They were simply being.

Flowers just blossom, Trees just grow, Caterpillars just morph into Butterflies, The sun just rises. Humans are the only thing on this planet that have to try to be something. We struggle everyday doing things to justify our means – our very existence. We even give praise for those that work hard. “Hard work pays off!” In nature, nothing has to work hard. It just has to BE. Why are we always so busy working hard instead of just being? Perhaps we should ask our Ego.

Let’s not confuse this with not doing anything. Let’s not confuse this with giving up, being lazy, or not accomplishing anything. Instead, let’s take an inside out approach. Let’s decide we’re not going to be so outcome driven. After all, we don’t get what we want, we get what we are!

We all have inherent qualities of creativity, honesty, visionary, powerful, strong, intelligent, flexible, and many others. If we aligned ourselves to these qualities and simply became expressions of these qualities what do you think would manifest? Well, we would be accomplishing so many things with two major differences.

First, we would be doing it rather effortlessly. It’s in our being to express these qualities. We don’t have to leave ourselves to tap into any of these resources! The other benefit is that we would be living authentically and with intention. In other words, we wouldn’t be chasing that next carrot. We would be expressing our own light just as the sun does!

We can see that the Universe provides for all of nature EVEN WHEN nature doesn’t “try”. Nature just is and it gets everything it needs and wants for it! Perhaps if we focused less on doing and more on being we’d actually get what we wanted and needed to. Perhaps life isn’t the struggle we’ve convinced ourselves it is.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this so please do share in the comments below!

With Gratitude and Appreciation,

Josh_Sig

Jan 092013
 

 Be_Yourself

I know when I first started my journey of self-discovery I spent many days feeling overwhelmed. The truth was I just wanted to fix my broken self. I knew it would take time and every day did get a little better. I’d find myself day-dreaming about the day I could look in the mirror and truly love myself as I was.

Like anything else in life, the journey back to oneself is done in baby steps, one small step at a time. However, it can be easy to get distracted and get sucked right back in to the Ego. There are so many things that can set us off and we all know how something like getting cut-off on the highway can just set us up for a horrible day. Heck, sometimes we don’t even have to leave the house before the day sucks.

Mondays?

First day back to work after long break?

Rain?

And the list goes on…

Knowing that there was the opportunity for daily setbacks I had to ensure I was exercising my spiritual muscles. I thought it’d be great to share one of those exercises with you as a Daily Challenge.

While I first started this exercise close to two years ago now I still do it to this day. What’s great is that unless you’re camped out at home all day today you should be able to do today’s Daily Challenge as well.

Today’s challenge will help strengthen your ability to identify with Inherent Nature (ie; spirit). As I’ve talked about it before we’re all born with many inherent qualities. Hence, this is how we start off life wearing our IQ Glasses. Over so many years of pain and unresolved hurt we’ve traded in those IQ Glasses for our False Belief Glasses. Many of us have forgotten what we look like and what others look like with those glasses off.

So let’s take those glasses off today. We’re going to start seeing others for who they really are not what we see through our FB glasses. This may be a very hard challenge for you at first. You’ll be very tempted to judge others instead. You’ll try and convince yourself that those you look at don’t have inherent qualities. Practice! This will take some time but once you start seeing the inherent qualities in others it’ll be more and more easy to identify them in the future.

What To Do:

1. No matter who you come across today look for their inherent qualities.

2. IQ’s include compassion, creativity, joy, intelligence, beauty, strength, courage, worthy, valuable, visionary, brilliant, fallible, honest, open, precious, whole, lovable, loving, and nurturing. There are many more but this should be a good list to get you started.

3. Look for queues that might help you to see these inherent qualities. For example, a tattoo on a store clerk might remind you that this person is creative.

4. Hold the thought of the inherent quality of that person in your mind for 10 seconds. Think well of that person and silently (in your mind) give them appreciation.

5. If you find yourself judging the person or seeing characteristics of their personality instead of their inherent quality take notice and refocus.

That’s it!! That’s the challenge for today. The steps are easy but as you’ll notice it can be very challenging. This exercise which you should practice daily will help build those spiritual eye muscles. You’ll train yourself to see people as they are. You’ll begin seeing the goodness and the soul of others. You’ll soon see that as you begin to identify these qualities in others you’ll also be able to start identifying these qualities in yourself.

The way I interpret the word, “Namaste” is that the love in me sees the love in you. What better way to practice the spirit of Namaste than by doing this exercise. I would love to hear how this went for you. So please do leave a comment after you’ve tried this or if in fact this is a practice you already incorporate.

Our journey to self discovery is more than just reading flowery quotes online. It’s about doing the work and challenging ourselves to see the world and ourselves differently. That takes time and a lot of hard work. What I promise you is that if you put in the time and the effort you’ll begin to rediscover a diamond in the rough. YOU!

Namaste!

Josh_Sig

 

 

 

Jan 072013
 

01_07_13_Bottom_of_Fear

The New Year has started off really well for me, all things considered! On the 2nd day of the year I got an email confirming I would be able to guest post on one of the most popular self-awarness blogs online, www.TheDailyLove.com. I was pretty floored and completely jazzed to be given an opportunity to reach so many people with my messages.

I also know that in order to be able to write more than once on a site like this I would need to make sure that my post resonated with a good majority of their readership. After all, any large magazine-like site can’t stay in business unless their posts are resonating with the most amount of people. It’s with this in mind that led me to my next question.

What the heck should I write about and/or which post that I’ve already written should I share?

My first thought was to share a post that got a lot of traffic off of my site. That bothered me though because when I started this blog I told myself that I wanted to write from a place of intention not from a place of how I could generate traffic. With previous blogs I would constantly check my stats and worry endlessly about the how, what, why, and where of traffic. I started this site to touch others. I started this site to help make a difference in other people’s lives. I knew that if my focus on writing was on drawing large numbers it would change what I wrote and what I shared with you. I didn’t want that so early on I decided that even if only one person (there is one of you, right?) read my blog and was touched in some way by what I wrote then I have succeeded.

So why had I been having so much challenge applying this same logic and thought to a post I would share with The Daily Love?

I realized there was some kind of fear holding me up. A fear of something that was preventing me from making a decision and from allowing me to move forward. I knew the only way I would get unstuck from this fear was to face the fear head on. So I asked myself, “Josh, what are you afraid of? What do you fear about submitting this post to The Daily Love? The answer didn’t take long to come up and it was that I feared nobody would read the post and/or it wouldn’t resonate with anyone and I wouldn’t be asked to write again for the site. So I continued to drill down…

If we allow ourselves to fall deep enough into fear we will always land in a big blanket of love.

What if my post didn’t register with enough souls and I wasn’t asked to write again? Well, I answered that I wouldn’t be able to reach people like I wanted to. And I continued with the questioning…”Josh, What if you couldn’t reach people?” So I replied in my mind, “Well, I guess I wouldn’t feel acceptable or good enough”.

I could have continued drilling down even further but I knew right there that I had reached a false belief. I knew that I had carried around the false belief of not being good enough most of my life. The desire to feel acceptance is just an extension of not being good enough. When I sat with that awful feeling of “not good enough” I could feel that blanket of love surrounding me. I knew that the false belief was something that had been less and less a part of my life since I started my journey. I knew that this false belief was something I formed at an early age. I also knew where it came from. I knew as a young boy I carried a lot of shame. I carried shame for not getting good grades, for having horrible acne, for being extremely underweight, for sucking my thumb much longer than most boys and girls, for having bucked teeth, and for many other reasons.

I now know that this shame was carried shame. It was the shame I carried from others. It was the shame of other people that dumped it on me. You see, when we feel shame the first thing we want to do is put it on others. Shame is cannibalistic as it wants to feed off of its own kind. With this in mind I had to give that shame back and not allow it to be mine. 

I am good enough and I am acceptable as I am. This is the truth but it wasn’t the truth I was telling myself in that moment.

So, I now have the answer to my question and I had it all along. What kind of post should I share/write for The Daily Love? The answer is, the same type of post I would write for isimply.am. A post that comes from my heart and is written for your heart. A post that if only resonated by one person would still be a successful post. This is the kind of post I should submit for The Daily Love or really for any other site I ever write for.

My value and worthiness isn’t based on acceptance from outside. It can’t be!

That fear I felt was a signal from the false belief that I’m not good enough. That fear was a big red flag that was calling for me to look into it. I’m so glad it did because I was able to see that the fear was really covering up a lie I still had deep down inside. That fear comes up for me a lot less than it used to but this was a humble reminder that I may be on the right path but I will always be on the beginning of the right path. The path never ends (it goes on beyond physical death) and so it’s one that changes as you change and it provides you with plenty of opportunity to change it’s direction.

I know I’m headed in the right direction. I know I have something valuable to share. I know that it will resonate with whoever is ready to hear it. I know that the message is the value not the site that it sits on. So, of course I hope that my first post on The Daily Love resonates with many people. If by chance it doesn’t that’s okay because at the end of the day I will be living with intention, purpose, and in alignment with my authentic self.

My Ego might not like it but if it comes down to that I’ll just have to sit down with it. I’ll dive deep into the pit of the Ego and through that fear knowing on the other side I’ll land right in the comfort of that blanket of love just as I always do. This is my path and my journey. It’s not defined by the outcomes of my doings but by the meaning of my being.

With Gratitude and Appreciation,

Josh_Sig

 

 

Photo Credit

Jan 042013
 

 

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For many, our journey to self-awareness is a very personal one. It takes time but we learn that change needs to take place internally. We spend a lot of time looking at the meaning we apply to things. Much of our work is internal, private, and very personal. However, it doesn’t take long before we start evaluating the relationships we have in our life.

Early on in my own journey I remember hearing, “You have changed but the people around you haven’t”. I think this was important for me to hear as it allowed me to be aware that I had been transforming into someone different than I was but that those closest to me weren’t necessarily going through those same changes. This is not a judgement call but rather an observation and something we need to be aware about as we go on our journey.

The meaning of relationships and friendships in particular take on new meaning when you start seeing the world through different lenses. As young adults we form many coping mechanisms to cover up the unhealed pain of the past. It may include, acting out, drinking, drugs, sex, isolation, and many other addictive behaviors. Typically the friends we keep all support those addictive habits and are often the ones encouraging us to perpetuate them.

Often times those friends aren’t seeing our Inherent Nature. They’re not seeing that we’re lovable, creative, precious, intelligent, committed, and worthy. They’re seeing us as a vehicle in which they can isolate from their own problems. It becomes more apparent after you start your own journey.

The friends you kept may still be immersed in their addictive behaviors, still seeing the world with their lenses of false belief, and not quite supporting you in the same way you need them to now. If you have changed enough it’s likely that the relationship has as well. So we ask ourselves…

Is this friend allowing me to be the fullest expression of my inherent nature?

I’m careful to use the word “allow” as it’s one of the 5 A’s that David Richo describes as how we give and receive love. Allowance here is not that their giving us permission to be our true selves, they are supporting us in doing so. If our friends can’t even see our inherent nature then how can they “allow” us to express it? Here are some examples of behaviors that are presented when our friends aren’t quite seeing our inherent nature and therefore aren’t really allowing us to become who we are.

  • They take everything personally, especially our “No’s”.
  • They judge us.
  • They encourage us to continue on with addictive behaviors.
  • They don’t make a safe and comfortable environment for us to heal should we need that.
  • They try to manipulate us to feel or think certain ways.
  • They can’t have adult conversations and are always joking as a means of avoiding uncomfortable conversation.
  • They try and fix our problems without being asked for advice.
  • They don’t truly listen to us.

Friends that do allow us to be our true authentic self exhibit behaviors such as:

  • Love us unconditionally even when the circumstances don’t benefit them.
  • See us as an intelligent person that made a mistake, not as an idiot who screwed up.
  • They don’t judge us.
  • They truly believe our dreams can come true and support us in that journey.
  • They openly and authentically receive what we have to give.
  • They don’t take things personally and allow us to own our reality.
  • They don’t gossip about us.
  • They are honest with us even when it feels uncomfortable to do otherwise.
  • They listen to us and offer advice through support not through teaching or preaching.
  • They give us appropriate and healthy amounts of attention, acceptance, allowance, affection, and appreciation.
  • They support us in feeling like we are seen and that we matter.

So, as you continue on your own journey this question of friendships will come up. Fortunately, for many of us we’ll already have friends that lovingly support us and truly do see us for who we are. However, there will be many others that realize the friends they carried were only exacerbating the very problems they were trying to escape.

Finally, deciding to end a friendship doesn’t mean you have to stop loving the person. It doesn’t mean you have to end it on bad terms or think badly of the person. Ending a friendship that doesn’t support you in your journey is nothing more than showing up for yourself. Aren’t you worth it?

With Gratitude and Appreciation,

Josh_Sig

 

 

 

Jan 022013
 

Living_In_The_Now-01_02_13

Happy New Year Everyone! We made it to 2013, can you believe it!?

What a better way to start off the year than to start living in the now! Some of you might be wondering what the heck that means though and how you’re supposed to do it (or even why). Let me break it down for you…

What is living in the Now?

For me, this statement means being grounded and centered in our Adult Reality. It means not allowing the “doings” of the past to affect our “being” of the present. It means not getting stuck in our imagination of the future which prevents us from getting there. It means to genuinely live in each moment, allowing yourself to be fully present and aware.

Why should I live in the Now?

I believe it was Gary Zukav who once said (or was it Deepak Chopra or Eckhart Tolle?) that the only life we have is the one in this very moment (the Now). The past is nothing more than a memory in our history and the future is simply a figment of our imagination. That leaves us with the present moment. Yet so many of us spend most of our waking hours with our minds stuck in the past or the future.

We’re busy thinking about what we didn’t or did do in the past or what is left to do in the future. This doesn’t mean we can’t think about the past and/or learn from our mistakes or even think about good memories. This also doesn’t mean we can’t have plans or dream for our future. What this means is that our level of awareness and how we walk through life is focused on present (Now) living.

If you spend the majority of your day living in the now you will benefit in the following ways:

1. You will be the decision maker for your responses not your feelings or your thoughts.

2. You will spend most of your day grounded and centered which for you means calm, relaxed, and happy.

3. Similar to #2 you will not experience stress or anxiety. All anxiety lives in the past and/or the future.

4. There will be less fear in your life and a lot more love.

5. You will feel much more fulfilled and purposeful throughout your day.

There are many other benefits but this is a good list to at least (hopefully) get you excited enough to consider giving this a try (if you’re not already).

How do I live in the Now?

Perhaps you’re thinking that everything I’ve mentioned so far sounds great and that you’re excited to have a go at this. I’m hoping that’s the case and I don’t want to turn you off now. However, I’m not just preaching sparkly unicorns and rainbows here and this does take time to turn around. We’re so conditioned to respond to the things that happen to us that it takes time to make a conscious decision to live in the now. So the bad news is it does take time. The good news is it’s extremely possible and what a better time to start living in the now than in the first week of the new year!?

Here are a 3 things you can actionably do to keep your life present-focused:

1. Do your best to incorporate some form of meditation (even 10 minutes a day). Closing your eyes in a quiet place allowing thoughts and feelings to float by is a wonderful first step.

2. Become an Observer to your thoughts and feelings. I believe it was Gary Zukav who said, “We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Throughout the day and especially when you’re having a feeling step back (in your minds eye) and just observe your thoughts and feelings. It will help by actually responding to your thoughts and feelings as “that’s interesting” or “look at how angry I’m starting to feel”. You don’t want to diminish your thoughts and feelings but rather become aware that you’re having them. Finally, don’t judge your thoughts and feelings.

Note: We need to deal with our thoughts and feelings (especially the big or uncomfortable ones) but we’ll do that in a different post.

3. Stop judging others as well. We can’t judge others without first judging ourselves. So stop judging yourself! We don’t know the circumstances of every person and/or every situation. I know we’re talking about living in the Now but for most of us our history has shaped how we respond to things. Allow people to be as they are even when you don’t agree with them. Instead of judging someone in an awkward situation, send them love and compassion. Other people’s inappropriate behavior is not a sign they’re bad people, it’s a sign they are in pain. Send them healing thoughts!

Again, there are many other ways in which we can ensure we’re living presently in the moment and I will talk about them more. For now, breathe in the start of the new day and exhale the frustration, sadness, and fear of your past.

Today is literally the most important day in your life. It’s the ONLY day in your life. Live it expressed with all the qualities that make you the amazing person you are!

With Gratitude and Appreciation,

Josh_Sig

 

 

 

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