Dec 302013
 

BS  BS bs-md-ob-pamela-becker

The This Podcast is dedicated to my beloved mother, Pamela Becker, who passed away on December 17th 2013. I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks and that’s because I was on the East Coast caring for my mother. I was actually there for the better part of the last 2 months but the last 2 weeks got the best of me and of course she passed in that timeframe as well. I had hoped to have a back up podcast for you in that event but you know how life goes.

Thank you for your continued support and for allowing me to continue sharing my message!

This week I want to also thank a few new “friends” on Facebook!

Amy Highstein-Berman, Tara Reddy, Nyela Oluchi Hope, Boris Doris, Keisha Davis, Stewart Joseph, Raphael Fernandez Alvarez

If you’d like to get an appreciation and a shout out join us on Facebook and let me hear from you. I’ll be happy to mention your business or site here on the show.

Where Am I?

Last week I had the great honor of being a guest on the Zen Parenting Radio Show. We did our best to answer the question, “Are we shortchanging our men?” as well as get silly. We recorded the episode pretty late and all of us were a bit giddy! With all the fun we had I think we had some good content too! I encourage you to check out my episode and future episodes of the Zen Parenting Radio Show!

Coming Up!

In episode 14 I had the great honor of chatting it up with Andrea Owen! Well this coming week I’m going to be sitting down with her again! Only this time I’m going to be on her awesome podcast! Stay tuned for details of when that’s going to be released! In the meantime, I encourage you to check out her newly released book, “52 Ways to Live A Kick Ass Life!” You can download it right from Amazon!

7 Lessons I Learned From My Mom Before She Died (Listen to the podcast for much more discussion!)

1. You’re never alone: alone is a feeling not a reality.

2. If you act from intention you’ll have nothing to regret: Be intentional about your actions – always carry forgiveness with you.

3. Fulfillment lives in Creativity: We’re all creative – Find arts, music, performing, baking, etc.

4. Life without Laughter is Boring: Need to laugh to enjoy even the small things in life.

5. Integrity is how we honor ourselves and our higher power: Integrity, honesty, “doing the right thing” even when it’s not convenient.

6. Fulfillment will be found in serving others: giving to others expands our ability to receive all the gifts that are coming our way.

7. Today is the only day that matters: Waking up is the best way to start the day!

ISA Weekly ISA Challenge:

When you’re by yourself notice how connected you really are – When someone asks you to do something, pause and really make sure you can and want to do it, then do it without any regrets – Paint, draw, play some music, bake, or make something with your hands – Laugh – Honor yourself in every moment (or forgive when you don’t) – Do something for someone else this week – Focus on your breath even if just for a few minutes and notice what you can be grateful for today.

Happy New Year!!! I’m hoping to bring you so much more in 2014 and can’t wait to share it all with you! Thank you once again for giving me this space and I’m wishing you and your loved ones a Happy and Healthy New Year!

**If you’ve enjoyed this podcast and any others in the past please let us know by visiting www.isimply.am/itunes and click on “View in iTunes”. You can then Subscribe to the Podcast and leave us a written review. It will help the show become more available to other like-minded individuals who are seeking to answer the question, “Who am I?”

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Dec 092013
 

If you're saying YES to someone else-6

This weeks podcast opens up with some shout outs to our new Facebook Friends as well as some Community Appreciations! Listen in to see if you hear your name!

If you’d like to get an appreciation and a shout out join us on Facebook.com and let me hear from you. I’ll be happy to mention your business or site on the show.

Are You A People Pleaser?

I spent the vast majority of my life trying to please others. Especially those that were close to me or that I really wanted attention. Half the time I would say, “yes” to someone when I really meant No, just to please them. Of course, it was never a real yes so I wound up never following through. This only left me looking like a flake and someone who couldn’t commit. The other half of the time I would find myself doing things I just didn’t want to do all in the name of pleasing others.

Of course, this is all too common and many of us find ourselves in this position throughout our life. Supporting others in a positive way, being kind, compassionate, and helpful are wonderful qualities. But how many times have you been compassion, kind, and supportive only to walk away feeling abused, discounted, neglected, taken for granted, and used?

I sat down with my friend Andrea Owen who is a Professional Life Coach and Author of the newly released book, “52 Ways To Live A Kick-Ass Life”. Andrea and I spoke about the “People Pleasing Syndrome” – How we get it, Why we do it, and How to stop! Andrea shares her best practices and let’s us in on how she coaches her own clients.

You’re going to love Andrea as much as I do and we’re going to give you some great tips! Listen in to this weeks podcast as we share tips and tricks on how to show up for others and more importantly YOURSELF! We’re also honored to have Andrea share with you this weeks ISA Challenge and you don’t want to miss it!

Andrea’s Weekly ISA Challenge:

Sometime this week you’re going to be asked to do something for someone. For this weeks challenge let’s leave employers out of the equation! We’re talking friends, partners, relatives, strangers, etc. Andrea wants you to pause before responding. If you can’t answer with a “Hell Yes” then it’s a No. Try this on this week and let us know in the comments of the show notes how it worked out! Remember, saying NO to someone else is saying YES to yourself!

Andrea is a wonderful resource and besides her book she has an awesome podcast, coaching services, and much more! You can check her out by visiting her site at www.YourKickAssLife.com!

If you’ve enjoyed this podcast and any others in the past please let us know by visiting www.isimply.am/itunes and click on “View in iTunes”. You can then Subscribe to the Podcast and leave us a written review. It will help the show become more available to other like-minded individuals who are seeking to answer the question, “Who am I?”

 

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

 

 

Dec 022013
 

Gandhi

What is Self Awareness?

My definition of self awareness is as follows: Observing and Understanding ones own response to internal/external physical and emotional stimuli. Now this isn’t a definition I’ve been sitting with for years. In fact, I haven’t really come up with a finite definition of Self Awareness until creating this podcast. Keep that in mind as this will likely shift for me overtime.

Listen to the full podcast here!

I’ve always said that the first step to change is self awareness. The reason many of us are stuck in the life we live isn’t because we don’t have the time, the money, know the right people, or aren’t good enough. The reason we are stuck or THINK that we are stuck is because we lack self awareness.

This isn’t a knock on anyone. We’re taught from a young age to not trust what our body tells us. Caregivers tell us we’re not smart, not to cry, not to be scared, do what we’re told, and the list goes on and on. And every time we hear that shaming language a little bit of our self awareness gets lost.

Soon we learn to rely on everything external to us to determine if everything inside is well.

The weather, how much money I make, my position in my company, my celebrity status, my Facebook likes and Twitter follows, whether or not our partner is happy, the economic status of our country, Fridays, Vacations, and on and on…

Some of us become so disconnected from who we are that when asked how we feel we’re completely numb. I’ve worked with many people who literally don’t know how they feel. Most everyone else has a sense of what they’re feeling but can’t quite describe it.

How many times have you responded to the question, “How are you feeling” with “fine”, “good” or “ok”? Sure, if you’re talking to a stranger you may not want to get into all the complications of your life. But we respond this way to close family, friends, and even our partners as well. Fine, Good, and OK are not feelings. They are judgements. On the surface you might ask me, “Josh, why are you acting so critical? You know what I mean when I say these things and after all it’s just semantics. I would argue that this isn’t the case at all.

How we feel often times dictates how we respond to life. We have a thought about something, we apply a meaning to that thought (often based on what’s happened in our past) and then we produce a feeling. From there we normally act upon it. If we’re feeling happy we often times laugh or smile and we’re more apt to be friendly. If we feel angry or frustrated we often act in accordance with those feelings too.

So you might wonder or others that are close to you might wonder why you respond to life the way you do. Consider the following scenarios where you might question why you respond the way you do:

1. Stuck at a job you don’t like.
2. Stuck in a relationship you don’t want to be in.
3. Seem to never have enough time in the day.
4. Constantly putting yourself last and others first.
5. Others might call you a perfectionist.
6. You can’t commit.
7. You can’t say No and when you say Yes, you rarely follow through.
8. Someone cuts you off while driving and you flip them off.
9. You become physically or emotionally abusive to others when “THEY” make you mad.
10. You’re constantly looking to “feel good” whether it’s in the form of drinking, drugs, sex, social media, buying things you can’t afford, eating unhealthy in the name of “it tastes good” and on and on…

Look, I find myself in many of these situations from time to time. Self Awareness isn’t a finite and concrete state of being. Once you learn to become self aware it takes daily practice and even then it can be difficult to have anything different than a conditioned response.

We all have areas in our life that need improvement and I believe that each of these areas point back to a lack of self awareness. Once we have the tools to become self aware we will have more opportunities for the change we seek.

I’m going to provide you with 5 Steps to becoming more Self Aware:

1. Pause – in any given situation pause long enough stay centered and grounded in your body. (Breathe)
2. Think – What thoughts are you having in that moment about the situation.
3. Meaning – What do your thoughts mean? That you are not enough? or that you are enough/matter/lovable, etc.
4. Feelings – What feelings are you having as a result of the meaning you applied to your thoughts?
5. Response – Respond based on your feelings ONLY WHEN they align to a meaning that you are good, lovable, etc.

Some guidelines to consider when putting these steps into place are:

  • Lots of Practice
  • Forgive Yourself not “if” but “when” you make a mistake in this process
  • Be Intentional and live on purpose!
  • This is about YOU becoming more self aware of YOURSELF not you trying to read, change, or fix other people in an attempt for them to become self aware. Remember, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Weekly ISA Challenge: Self Awareness

1. Practice the 5 steps to self awareness.
2. Journal what you observed about each of the steps in this process.
3. Start noticing patterns.
4. Don’t judge yourself, just notice and become an observer.

Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

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